I want to thank one of my readers, Phil, for sending me a link to this article written by a “so called sex expert” named “Muffy”. This appeared on a website devoted to teaching people how to have passionate relationships.
Here is point number 6 in her advice:
***Post by Muffy:
6. Your work here is not done.
We'll just come right out and say it - it's a lot easier to make a guy cum than it is to produce a same effect in a girl. We get that. We also get that sometimes you just can't help yourselves - we know our pussies are tight, hot and wet. It's okay if you bust before we cum... just as long as you know you've got work to do. Once again, this is where toys can come in handy. If you're not up to finishing the job manually or orally, grab a vibrator and work it. Guarantee she'll go to sleep happy.
—MY COMMENTS:
What a complete load of BS! And to think that people believe this shit. And to think that women accept this!
In contrast, here’s an email from one of my clients:
***EMAIL from Matt P. in Finland:
David,
I wrote to you few weeks ago about my success with your “Give women wild screaming orgasms” program. Now I have gone thru almost all techniques and methods in your book. My success has been even greater. Every single one of your methods has caused literally wild screaming multiple orgasms to my girlfriend.
Last night my girlfriend was visiting me. I used “body of clitoris” technique. I commanded her to “come hard for me baby, come hard now, it feels sooo good” etc.
She really did. Her squirting was amazing! My palm was in front on her pussy, but she squirted so much and so powerfully that my chest, stomach and hands were all over wet! And she was also all over wet!
She also squirts during intercourse, and she has amazingly powerful PC-muscles. It all most hurts when she comes. Every time I feel her coming I say: “it feels sooo good, come hard now!” etc.
Well, last night when I realized, that she has become very responsive to my commands I tried something: I commanded her to surrender to me completely when I was inside her. Result was that she started to come continuously, and had non-stop multiple orgasms and squirting!
After 15-20 minutes she said: “please, please give me a little break, I can’t stop coming, I am so exhausted”.
My girlfriend told me how much she likes that I am leading her in bedroom. She is telling me every time after we have had sex that she hasn’t ever been coming like she just did.
She once said that it’s not fair that she has 20 orgasms during intercourse and I have only one. Well, I told her that her orgasms gives me a great pleasure and its mutual satisfaction that she is having multiple orgasms.
I haven’t seen happier face before. She says that I have a “magic dick” and keeps asking how I am able to do all these things to her. I just smile and say that her pleasure is also my pleasure.
It’s certainly not about “doing” things, but instead “being” something!
I must say that absolutely everything you say is 100% true about female sexuality and being personally and sensually powerful.
You Mr. Shade, you are making happier people and you are helping lots of men (and women too) to have a better life!
And one personal advice to all men out there who are still hesitating: Just Do It! I have done it, and you can do it also! It’s worth it, and everything that David says is true!
Thank you!
Feel free to use my words as a testimonial.
Your loyal student:
Matti P. in Finland
—MY COMMENTS:
Oh if only “Muffy” could meet a Masterful Lover.
Now here is point number 7 in her babbling:
***Post by Muffy:
7. Blowing you does not get her wet.
You love the blow jobs. We know this. We *love* how much you love the beejers, and we're happy to do it. But it doesn't make us wet. We know that after a few minutes of deep throating, you're ready to go... all you want is that pussy, and heaven forfend the army that tries to get in your way. But this, fellas, isn't the time to plow full strength ahead. This is the time to be the giving guy. The sensitive guy. The guy who knows that no matter how much she likes sucking your cock, it's unlikely to lead to lubrication.
There are a couple of ways to get around this problem. If it's a repeat encounter, it's pretty easy to learn what turns your lady's crank. Then, work it. If all else fails, try toys. Vibrators were made for times when you just don't have enough hands, so learn to use them. A well-placed bullet vibrator can, uh, warm the seat up for you. So to speak.
—MY COMMENTS:
No wonder Muffy doesn’t have interest in beejers. She has to use a vibe on her clit to come. Why should she be interested?
In contrast, here are emails from two of my clients:
***EMAIL from Shane Mathews:
I recently purchased “wild screaming orgasms”. I have yet to use all the material in the book but what I have used has been amazing. My g/f wants to have sex all the time and 3 or 4 vaginal orgasms is not uncommon. I learned that if you give women amazing pleasure, they will want to return the favor. The other day my g/f was on her period so we weren’t having sex at the time. We started kissing and making out and her exact words were “I want to suck you off”. So she went down on me and swallowed (which I have never had a girl that would do that) but I know there are women that do that. But after she said “I love it that YOU let ME do that to you.” I was blown away. So like I said women will want to return the favor. I love giving her incredible pleasure so if there is some new material coming out I definitely want to know about it! Thanks a lot
***EMAIL from Randy Carlson:
I knew she could orgasm without me even taking her clothes off, so I proved to her just how sexy she could remain (to me and to herself) even during that ‘time of the month.’ I made her come while fully clothed, and then explained to her that orgasms while menstruating massage her reproductive organs, helping to eliminate pain and cramping. She hugged me tight and was taken with gratitude for me doing something entirely for her benefit.
Fast forward to one month later (last night) and she is on my couch, anticipating some affection. I gave her an orgasm fully clothed and she was just as taken by it as ever. Then I took off her shirt and she went right ahead and took off her bra like a good girl. I proceeded with a nipple orgasm that had her once again in utter amazement.
She THOUGHT it was my turn to get off, but I had other plans (hehe). She started going down on me and I went to town with the dirty talk and progressed into more and more suggestions about how horny my cock made her and how sucking me made her clit so hard, etc. She of course continued with her 100% success rate of feeling everything I tell her to feel and had a powerful orgasm while sucking my cock!
She knocked my wood down enthusiastically right after and then commented on how that was the wildest thing she has ever done!
Thanks man, I’m finally living my life, and you helped me make it happen.
Regards,
Randy
—MY COMMENTS:
Oh if only “Muffy” could meet a Masterful Lover. ha ha.
If you don’t believe these things are possible, then you should date someone like Muffy. She’ll understand.
But if you want to have the success of a Masterful Lover, then start with discovering the TRUTH about female sexuality (the stuff that mainstream can’t teach you) with my book “The Secrets Of Female Sexuality”.
Then become a Masterful Lover with my comprehensive program “Give Women Wild Screaming Orgasms”.
And then discover how to make her come while “returning the favor” with my program “Advanced Sexual Hypnosis”.
Give women incredible pleasure,
David Shade
p.s. Send me any BS that so called “sex experts” are driveling. Just reply to any of my emails or tell me about it at AskDavidShade.com
“Muffy” is not alone.
Dan Savage, one of the most widely read sex columnists in America believes the following:
Most women (66-75%) *cannot* orgasm through intercourse. Not that they haven’t, mind you, but that they can’t.
More recently he says something to the effect of “we now know that vaginal orgasms aren’t really vaginal, they’re some derivative of clitoral orgasms” I’m paraphrasing of course.
Mr. Savage does acknowledge that there is a large psychological component to sex, but he also says that it can be appropriate to bring toys in the bedroom if that is what she is used too.
I’ve been listening to his podcasts and reading his advice column for nearly 5 years, and some of the things I hear there clash with your message. That said, I’m still subscribing to the Masterful Lover worldview. Great timing by the way–I was thinking about emailing some of this stuff to you. Regards,
Harold
My goodness … Does “Muffy” have shares in a vibrator-manufacturing company, I wonder ? ;-)
IMO, if a woman does not get “lubricated” from deepthroating, or even “just teasing” her lovers cock with the tip of her tongue … She doesn’t really LIKE that particular part of the male anatomy ..(Let alone LOVE it …).
IMO, when a woman doesn’t think her lovers rockhard cock is the most beautiful thing in the world – she has not yet embraced her OWN “inner man”.
(Let alone her “inner slut” ..)
No amount of “sensitivity” or “well-placed vibrators” will do that for her …
“Warm the seat for you” -??
*Geeze* … this woman is certainly stuck at a very sorry level of “sexual NON-enlightenment”. Which is not a crime in itself – but telling OTHERS that this is the “way things just ARE” is just … sad.
And Mr. Savage there is just plain ignorant, if he honestly believes, that there are women out there who “just cant” orgasm.
“Cant” .. or “wont” -?
Even women who are paralyzed from the waist downwards, CAN experience orgasms ! So why should perfectly physically healthy women NOT be able to ?
Faulty genetic wirering ? I think not …
Realizing that an orgasm is NOT something someone else “does TO you”, but something your partner does WITH you is the key issue.
It’s not about “giving & taking” – it’s about SHARING.
Two completely different paradigms.
Personally, I dont believe in turning the bedroom into some sort of adult-version of Toys-R-Us.
“If that what she is USED to” -?!
Would you continue to allow your dog to pee on your couch, just because that is what it is “used to” ?
Of course not !
It may be a little harsh metaphor, but that does not make it less true.
Yes, a vibrator CAN be fun.
But a red flag should go up, if a woman is adament about not being “able” to climax WITHOUT it.
She will “need work” …;-)
Think about it guys – what does it say about a woman, that she NEEDS a plastic cock to get off ?
What would you say to a man, who could only manage to orgasm, inside a rubber vagina – but not with a REAL woman … you know, the kind that is body, mind & soul – not just disembodied genitalia … ?
Which really is all a vibrator /dildo is.
Motorized or not, it’s still a dick without a man attached to it …
Very convenient, if you dont really LOVE men … ;-)
Very convenient, if you’re constantly afraid that your lover might leave you.
Because if he does, at least you still have the plastic dick – which gives “better” pleasure than the REAL deal anyway …
And indeed VERY convenient, if you are secretly afraid of surrendering completely to another being. Which in the fear-based realm translates into “giving away power” ..
I guess it really DOES all come down to FEAR vs. LOVE.
(Pun intended )
/all the best,
S.
Excellent post – Shunyata.
You make a great point… one that sadly I didn’t realize despite the fact that it is completely obvious.
I blame the deep, deep, deep socialization that our current American culture push on us for my not coming to the same realization you do in your commentary.
Somehow it’s “okay” for a woman to use a dildo, and only cum that way – a fake disemboddied cock – yet if you picture a man using a fake vagina in that manner it suddenly becomes a very different thing and that difference suddenly makes it all come into perspective.
It is COMPLETELY FUCKING ABNORMAL for a woman to “only” be able to cum using a fake dick.
Something’s really wrong if that is the only way a woman can cum.
Your quote:
“what does it say about a woman, that she NEEDS a plastic cock to get off ? What would you say to a man, who could only manage to orgasm, inside a rubber vagina – but not with a REAL woman … you know, the kind that is body, mind & soul – not just disembodied genitalia … ?”
and you conclusion is spot on as well:
“Very convenient, if you dont really LOVE men … ;-)”
Genetically mutant woman (bull dyke feminists) or those women with mutant genes that don’t LOOK like bull dykes but still manage to be feminists DON’T REALLY LOVE MEN! Rather, they want to BE men. And for all intents and purposes they ARE men – Genetically. Or rather incomplete lesser men,i.e., partial men.
“Very convenient, if you’re constantly afraid that your lover might leave you.”
This one I don’t buy. I know that fear can’t stop a woman from cumming. Hell she’ll cum harder!
“Because if he does, at least you still have the plastic dick – which gives “better” pleasure than the REAL deal anyway …”
This mental frame is just meant to attack pure and simple. It’s pure bunk and psych warfare.
“And indeed VERY convenient, if you are secretly afraid of surrendering completely to another being. Which in the fear-based realm translates into “giving away power” ..”
NOW YOU’RE TALKING! You hit it out of the park with that one. Women seeking power (you think they DON’T?) in her relationships will resist being a full and complete woman, i.e., a slave that knows she is inferior and in the presence of her master. And she is damn lucky to be blessed with his sex.
Shunyata,
You are so very right it pains me!
I will never understand why all the mainstream “sex experts” cannot
seem to dislodge their heads from where the sun doesn’t shine. I will
not be hunting down articles of theirs for David because I just get
too depressed reading them. And why do women BUY it?! How many
millions of copies has Cosmo sold on the back of these same lies –
“your orgasm is your problem” blah, blah, blah – this isn’t what we
really want to hear, this stuff is simply mind-numbing, why do we let
the “experts” keep lying to us when we know better? When even
Hollywood knows better, for crying out loud. When was the last time
you paid money to see a taught, romantic drama where the sex scene
went like this, “Oh, no, honey, a little to the right, no higher,
higher — oh here, just give it to me, I’ll get myself off. Just like
Betty Dodson says on page 153″ ???! Deep down, we all have an inate
sense of what we really want.
I am not an “experienced” woman. I have made out with a couple of guys
and only slept with one. I’m in my early twenties. But even I can tell
you what feels good to me and what doesn’t feel so great. And you’re
right, Shunyata, a man’s “rockhard cock” is definitely the most
beautiful thing in the world. I have, in times of desperate
loneliness, tried “inanimate objects” and even vibrators in an attempt
to provide myself a little synthetic comfort — and I always give up
halfway through and break down crying because IT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING
FOR ME.
Where is the MAN?! Where is the PERSONALITY that I want to feel
flooding my senses? Where is the PERSON that I want to surrender
completely to? I cannot become excited where those elements are
lacking. Without the vibrant involvement of another personality,
physical “punch the button, get the peanut” pleasure is pretty grey.
I become more convinced all the time that sex exists for the sake of a
relationship, a relationship should not exist for the sake of sex.
Really, it’s about building scenarios that are emotionally exciting
and rewarding and that build an ever-increasing bond, the pleasure of
intimacy is just a bit of icing that helps all of that along — and I
believe that that is true of both sexes, despite the fact that more
often than not a focus on physical pleasure is the carrot that baits
men into a journey of discovering said emotional fulfillment ;) (and
by the way, I don’t think that that makes men shallow or slimy, as
long as they have the courage to take up the journey of discovering
everything they really want, i.e. the emotionally fulfilling
relationship).
I was very nearly in tears reading Shunyata’s post, because I feel
very, very strongly about this stuff. I am not an overtly emotional
person at all. Yet I have a powerful reaction to these topics.
Sometimes, I’ll be standing in a store full of people, and just want
to scream to all of the men in there, “Your body is unchallengeably
the natural superior of the Magic Wand 3000!” Your jab, Shunyata,
about the “plastic cock” being “better” than a man must not be taken
seriously by any man! Please, please, guys, have confidence in
yourselves – you really do just plain feel better! A woman will
always, always, always prefer making love to a man (who is being The
Man) over being fucked by a battery. We have souls too, you know, and
that dimension of our selves longs to be partnered as much as our
bodies do.
I think the greatest reward for a woman is not merely making her man
feel good, but making him feel good about himself. Helping him to be
happy in his own skin twenty-four/seven, even when she is not with
him, by stoking his confidence in his own value and in his
desireability as a man, on all levels. Of course, this presupposes
that there is something there to stoke — to praise a man for being
weak would do nothing but further degrade him and drag him down —
this is why women are demanding! We need to really believe in a guy
before we can give him the kind of full and genuine, heartfelt support
that can really make a positive difference to him. That’s where David
Shade comes in – he tells you exactly how to cultivate all those
desireable qualities so that there are glowing coals there for a woman
to blow on, i.e. the understanding and possibility/potential in a man
to feel really fulfilled.
I know what it’s like to waste my breath on cold ash — I left a LTR
with a guy whose self-esteem was simply too low. I really wanted to
make him feel good, and believing that honesty is the most powerful
tool available (thank you, David, for repeatedly reminding us of that
one), I told him, look, I’ve been lonely at times in the past, I’ve
felt desperate, I’ve tried various different things — absolutely
nothing compares to the way you make me feel, not even close. I tried
to make him feel strong in himself and in his sexuality. His response
was that I was not enough of a slut, that I hadn’t tried enough
products, to know that a living breathing man is really the best.
I am sure that you have all at some point experienced a classic blow
to the male ego. Well, let me tell you gentlemen, THAT was a blow to
the female ego.
(If you ever want to really hurt a woman, don’t attack her sexual
prowess, don’t tell her she’s ugly, don’t tell her she’s stupid — hit
her while she’s in nurture-mode — she’ll go down hard.)
What would women really, really like? We’d like you to be the kind of
man that makes us feel fulfilled and that we know we can count on so
that we can WORSHIP you. We want to make you feel like a god. We want
to give you all those invincible, James Bond, bullet-proof, man of the
moment feelings. We want you to derive your pleasure and your
emotional high from us (that very special one of us, the only one that
can make you feel that way). We want the chance to GIVE that to you
(we just have to, for our protection and for yours, make sure that
it’s safe from abuse FIRST).
Shunyata is right about fear vs. love. Dispell the fear (including
choosing a woman who is capable of havng any fears dispelled) and what
you are left with is Love, i.e. that powerful desire to give. And I,
of course, further argue that physical pleasure is the least of what
we long to give.
Please, SOMEBODY believe this woman: Far and away, the most thrilling,
satisfying, desireable thing out there is a penis with a man ATTACHED.
The more man, the better :)
btw – Shunyata, you sound like you’ve been burned in the past. Have
faith in your ability to Choose the Really Worthy Ones and then
proceed with confidence :)
Oh, and of course, David, you may use my words as you please – I trust you.
Take heart,
L