You are so very right it pains me!
I will never understand why all the mainstream “sex experts” cannot
seem to dislodge their heads from where the sun doesn’t shine. I will
not be hunting down articles of theirs for David because I just get
too depressed reading them. And why do women BUY it?! How many
millions of copies has Cosmo sold on the back of these same lies –
“your orgasm is your problem” blah, blah, blah – this isn’t what we
really want to hear, this stuff is simply mind-numbing, why do we let
the “experts” keep lying to us when we know better? When even
Hollywood knows better, for crying out loud. When was the last time
you paid money to see a taught, romantic drama where the sex scene
went like this, “Oh, no, honey, a little to the right, no higher,
higher — oh here, just give it to me, I’ll get myself off. Just like
Betty Dodson says on page 153″ ???! Deep down, we all have an inate
sense of what we really want.

I am not an “experienced” woman. I have made out with a couple of guys
and only slept with one. I’m in my early twenties. But even I can tell
you what feels good to me and what doesn’t feel so great. And you’re
right, Shunyata, a man’s “rockhard cock” is definitely the most
beautiful thing in the world. I have, in times of desperate
loneliness, tried “inanimate objects” and even vibrators in an attempt
to provide myself a little synthetic comfort — and I always give up
halfway through and break down crying because IT DOESN’T DO ANYTHING
FOR ME.

Where is the MAN?! Where is the PERSONALITY that I want to feel
flooding my senses? Where is the PERSON that I want to surrender
completely to? I cannot become excited where those elements are
lacking. Without the vibrant involvement of another personality,
physical “punch the button, get the peanut” pleasure is pretty grey.

I become more convinced all the time that sex exists for the sake of a
relationship, a relationship should not exist for the sake of sex.
Really, it’s about building scenarios that are emotionally exciting
and rewarding and that build an ever-increasing bond, the pleasure of
intimacy is just a bit of icing that helps all of that along — and I
believe that that is true of both sexes, despite the fact that more
often than not a focus on physical pleasure is the carrot that baits
men into a journey of discovering said emotional fulfillment ;) (and
by the way, I don’t think that that makes men shallow or slimy, as
long as they have the courage to take up the journey of discovering
everything they really want, i.e. the emotionally fulfilling
relationship).

I was very nearly in tears reading Shunyata’s post, because I feel
very, very strongly about this stuff. I am not an overtly emotional
person at all. Yet I have a powerful reaction to these topics.
Sometimes, I’ll be standing in a store full of people, and just want
to scream to all of the men in there, “Your body is unchallengeably
the natural superior of the Magic Wand 3000!” Your jab, Shunyata,
about the “plastic cock” being “better” than a man must not be taken
seriously by any man! Please, please, guys, have confidence in
yourselves – you really do just plain feel better! A woman will
always, always, always prefer making love to a man (who is being The
Man) over being fucked by a battery. We have souls too, you know, and
that dimension of our selves longs to be partnered as much as our
bodies do.

I think the greatest reward for a woman is not merely making her man
feel good, but making him feel good about himself. Helping him to be
happy in his own skin twenty-four/seven, even when she is not with
him, by stoking his confidence in his own value and in his
desireability as a man, on all levels. Of course, this presupposes
that there is something there to stoke — to praise a man for being
weak would do nothing but further degrade him and drag him down —
this is why women are demanding! We need to really believe in a guy
before we can give him the kind of full and genuine, heartfelt support
that can really make a positive difference to him. That’s where David
Shade comes in – he tells you exactly how to cultivate all those
desireable qualities so that there are glowing coals there for a woman
to blow on, i.e. the understanding and possibility/potential in a man
to feel really fulfilled.

I know what it’s like to waste my breath on cold ash — I left a LTR
with a guy whose self-esteem was simply too low. I really wanted to
make him feel good, and believing that honesty is the most powerful
tool available (thank you, David, for repeatedly reminding us of that
one), I told him, look, I’ve been lonely at times in the past, I’ve
felt desperate, I’ve tried various different things — absolutely
nothing compares to the way you make me feel, not even close. I tried
to make him feel strong in himself and in his sexuality. His response
was that I was not enough of a slut, that I hadn’t tried enough
products, to know that a living breathing man is really the best.
I am sure that you have all at some point experienced a classic blow
to the male ego. Well, let me tell you gentlemen, THAT was a blow to
the female ego.

(If you ever want to really hurt a woman, don’t attack her sexual
prowess, don’t tell her she’s ugly, don’t tell her she’s stupid — hit
her while she’s in nurture-mode — she’ll go down hard.)

What would women really, really like? We’d like you to be the kind of
man that makes us feel fulfilled and that we know we can count on so
that we can WORSHIP you. We want to make you feel like a god. We want
to give you all those invincible, James Bond, bullet-proof, man of the
moment feelings. We want you to derive your pleasure and your
emotional high from us (that very special one of us, the only one that
can make you feel that way). We want the chance to GIVE that to you
(we just have to, for our protection and for yours, make sure that
it’s safe from abuse FIRST).

Shunyata is right about fear vs. love. Dispell the fear (including
choosing a woman who is capable of havng any fears dispelled) and what
you are left with is Love, i.e. that powerful desire to give. And I,
of course, further argue that physical pleasure is the least of what
we long to give.

Please, SOMEBODY believe this woman: Far and away, the most thrilling,
satisfying, desireable thing out there is a penis with a man ATTACHED.
The more man, the better :)

btw – Shunyata, you sound like you’ve been burned in the past. Have
faith in your ability to Choose the Really Worthy Ones and then
proceed with confidence :)

Oh, and of course, David, you may use my words as you please – I trust you.

Take heart,
L

“Very convenient, if you dont really LOVE men … ;-)”

Genetically mutant woman (bull dyke feminists) or those women with mutant genes that don’t LOOK like bull dykes but still manage to be feminists DON’T REALLY LOVE MEN! Rather, they want to BE men. And for all intents and purposes they ARE men – Genetically. Or rather incomplete lesser men,i.e., partial men.

“Very convenient, if you’re constantly afraid that your lover might leave you.”

This one I don’t buy. I know that fear can’t stop a woman from cumming. Hell she’ll cum harder!

“Because if he does, at least you still have the plastic dick – which gives “better” pleasure than the REAL deal anyway …”

This mental frame is just meant to attack pure and simple. It’s pure bunk and psych warfare.

“And indeed VERY convenient, if you are secretly afraid of surrendering completely to another being. Which in the fear-based realm translates into “giving away power” ..”

NOW YOU’RE TALKING! You hit it out of the park with that one. Women seeking power (you think they DON’T?) in her relationships will resist being a full and complete woman, i.e., a slave that knows she is inferior and in the presence of her master. And she is damn lucky to be blessed with his sex.

You make a great point… one that sadly I didn’t realize despite the fact that it is completely obvious.

I blame the deep, deep, deep socialization that our current American culture push on us for my not coming to the same realization you do in your commentary.

Somehow it’s “okay” for a woman to use a dildo, and only cum that way – a fake disemboddied cock – yet if you picture a man using a fake vagina in that manner it suddenly becomes a very different thing and that difference suddenly makes it all come into perspective.

It is COMPLETELY FUCKING ABNORMAL for a woman to “only” be able to cum using a fake dick.

Something’s really wrong if that is the only way a woman can cum.

Your quote:
“what does it say about a woman, that she NEEDS a plastic cock to get off ? What would you say to a man, who could only manage to orgasm, inside a rubber vagina – but not with a REAL woman … you know, the kind that is body, mind & soul – not just disembodied genitalia … ?”