November 10, 2006
Why Nice Guys Suck
A client sent this to me. It was posted on craigslist.org by a woman ranting about her boyfriend. It is called "Why nice guys SUCK":
Best of Craigslist - Washington, DC - Why nice guys SUCK
Originally Posted: Sun, 10 Sep, 2006
Why nice guys SUCK
This is a long rant, so bear with me or hit your back button. I'm frustrated and in no mood for your shit either, so if you don't want to read it, well…
So I'm dating a nice guy now and it SUCKS. No other way to explain it, it just SUCKS. He's no challenge. He agrees with everything I say. He's got it all though - a decent job, a nice house, no kids, no psycho ex-wives, and he's tall and cute. Anyone ever seen that Friends episode when Alec Baldwin played Phoebe's boyfriend??
YEAH, my boyfriend is THAT nice. He's just too fucking nice. Nice is boring. I've never heard him raise his voice. He's never aggressive. He has no edge. He won't even drive over the speed limit and that fucking annoys the shit out of me, yet I sit in the passenger seat and keep my mouth shut… watching everyone whiz by us.
And don't get me started on the sex. Oh, excuse me… making love. After he cums (note I didn't mention anything about ME cumming), he rolls over and says "Oh, that was nice" with a little sigh. I KID YOU NOT, he says it EVERY TIME and then he sighs like he has just woken from a refreshing nap. I finally got so tired of missionary and him looking lovingly into my eyes and smiling as he came, that I threw him down on the couch one night and mounted him. At first he was terrified - yes, TERRIFIED. He thought something had possessed me.
And it HAD — it was sheer MADNESS. I fucked the shit out of him that night. And then he sighed and said "Oh,
that was nice".Now that we had the cowgirl position conquered (always with that sigh afterwards), it was time to move on to doggie. His ex-girlfriend never did doggie (hmmm… maybe there's a "nice" ex-girlfriend to blame for his timid niceness?? That bitch…). Anyway, I digress. I tell him I want him to fuck me from behind. Yes, I used the word "fuck" and I didn't care what he thought about it. He gets behind me and enters me, and damned if he didn't say "OH, THIS IS NICE" !!! Are there any 35 y/o men out there that haven't smacked a woman's ass when doing her doggie?? YES, and he's my boyfriend!
Tonight during sex, I think I'm gonna tell him to stick his finger in my ass when I'm riding him. THAT should be interesting.
So for the nice guys out there, my advice is this: It's great that you're nice (to an extent), but have some backbone. Don't be a spine donor all your life. When your girl is out of line, say something. Don't let her walk all over you. Occasionally, be a "bad" boy (being bad doesn't translate to abusive or criminal). Say "No" to her sometimes. Raise your voice and be heard. Say something dirty/sexy to her occasionally. Drink a few too many beers and piss out in public. Smack her ass.
Don't ever use the word NICE to describe things, especially sex (okay, that may be a personal pet peeve). Have an interest in at LEAST one sport (or pretend to). Drive 5-10 miles over the speed limit once in awhile. Run an old lady off the road just for kicks (yeah, I'm kidding about this one… just ride her bumper for a few miles).
Be aggressive during sex. Take off those damn white socks and Jesus sandals. Grow a goatee for a few weeks. Shave your balls. Stray from your routine and shake things up.
BE A MAN FOR GOD'S SAKE… and the women will fall at your feet.
Whew… THAT FELT NICE.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
All too typical.
That woman is in the process of dumping her man, and she may not even realize it yet.
It happens often. The woman becomes frustrated that the man does not see the sexual creature in her. She still cares about him, but she no longer responds sexually to him. She thus loses respect for him. Out of her frustration, she then goes into a stage where she mocks his ignorance by shocking him by making HIM do taboo things. After she has entertained herself for some time, she finds that she has lost all respect for him, and she dumps him.
Give women incredible pleasure,
David Shade
Filed under Sexuality, What Women Want by David Shade
Comments on Why Nice Guys Suck »
I have had and I am currently engaged in anonymous email conversations with several women of ages ranging from 23 (*wave back to me baby* :) to 43. What women will say when they assured of total anonymity shocks the hell out of most men. Here is an example:
Her: "I let him fuck me in the ass on the first date. Now you think I am a slut."
DC: "Cool. I like sluts. Did you come?"
It's a very rare women who will be as frank in person as she is anonymously or with trusted girlfriends.
In a situation like this one there is really only one option to save the relationship:
The next time they go to sex and she's aroused, mount up and straddle her just below the breasts, grab her by the ears, and tell her she's going to suck you off and enjoy it…then proceed to follow through while pulling her hair etc.
If a girl wants to be nasty and naughty (and most do), it's your duty to oblige her if you want her to stick around.
As a Dom (dominant male in lifestyle parlance, or "Alpha Male" as they say in the seduction community) I have found that most women want their guys to have some BACKBONE. The problem with most 'nice guys' is that they have none! Most are like 'yes, dear' this, and 'whatever you say, honey' that, etc. While may be OK sometimes, letting the girl run over you is a sure way to become a cuckold (best case!) or even losing her and being seen as a nothing in her eyes.
All comments are true. I am a nice guy miself but sometimes like tonight I am in control and I say what goes and her respond is I love it when you take control. Respectable woman love it.
well, ok, I agree completely. there is nothing nice about being "nice." on the other hand, women need to take full responsibility for their own feelings and actions and SPEAK UP when they are not happy. it's not helpful to complain about someone, and it's way more authentic and empowering to communicate.
trouble is most people never learned how to be assertive and speak up in the moment. I have found that non-violent communication (with books by Marshall Rosenberg, Kelly Bryson, and others) have been tremendously helpful to me.
why allow yourself to get to the point of ranting and resentment when you can speak up as soon as you're not feeling good about a situation?
just my two cents.
- Erika (www.awakeningfromthedream.blogspot.com)