Here is an interesting email conversation I had with Michele:
David,
I’m an attractive (just want to be honest), 25 year old woman in a relationship with a 34 year old man. I have a huge sex drive – I am constantly horny and thinking about sex. There are times when I even masturbate under the desk at work – how wrong is that!! (but oh so fun!)
My boyfriend doesn’t want sex as much as me. And when he does he wants to “make love” where as I want to be “fucked like a slut”! I want to fuck every night! As often as possible! He wants it maybe once a week (if that!)
What is wrong with him? I’m worried that I’m going to cheat on him. I love him and everything else in our relationship is great. We’ve been together for 6 months
When we first got together the sex was fantastic! And it was every night! What can I do? Is it his age? HELP!!!
Michele
P.S. There’s no chance that he’s cheating on me.
Here is my first response to her…
Michele,
It obviously isn’t his age, seeing as 6 months ago the sex was fantastic and was every night. Something happened to change things. What was it? And don’t say you don’t know.
David
Hi David,
Thank you for responding. When I wrote to you I was in a big hurry – I just looked over my email and it really doesn’t communicate my situation accurately. Let me try again.
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 6 months and during this time we have been through a great deal together. We’ve lived together, moved house, changed jobs, had HUGE drunk fights (my fault!), and plenty more. He even asked me to marry him – but I declined the offer (too early). More recently, we have been very stressed about money. I know it sounds like we probably shouldn’t be together however, I can’t explain the connection we have – we’re in love, we are soul mates. He summed it up the other day when he said to me “I am not whole without you.”
Maybe it should be obvious to me that stress is what’s caused our sex life to diminish. But why is it that I feel like making love or “fucking” even when I am stressed or unhappy? In fact, usually I want it more at these times – not sure why.
It just seems so wrong to me that I am the one almost begging for sex – isn’t that usually the mans role? (I’m not saying it should be that way).
Can you advise me what I can do to make him more interested in sex? When we do have it it’s great!
HELP!
Here is my second response to Michele…
Michele,
I think you already have it figured out.
When he experiences stress, he loses his sexual interest. Not unusual for a male. You handle stress by wanting more sex because for you it is bonding and replenishing and reassuring. Which explains why you start drunken fights.
His asking you so quickly to marry him is an indication of neediness. Which explains his choice in words when he says that he “is not whole without you.”
He is NOT going to be more interested in sex until the stress goes away.
You are proof that it is not true that it is the man’s role to beg for sex.
David
David,
I just want you to know how much I appreciate you taking the time to respond to my email. Am I the only woman who writes to you? Is your manual for men only or would I get something out of it?
I bought a porno movie last night and watched it while my boyfriend was at the pub. (Is that wrong?) Before we went to bed I said “Fancy watching a porn?” and he lost it! He was furious with me! He told me I was obsessed with sex and that having a relationship with someone is not about fucking. He said to me “I will never treat you like a whore – and that’s what you want, I know”.
I guess that’s the end of that.
Cheers David
Michele
Michele,
You need a new man. A man who understands that women are sexual creatures.
There are almost as many women who email me as there are men who email me.
My manual is in reality a true story of two lovers. You would find it to be the ultimate in erotic romance novels.
David
Update: David Shade’s Manual is no longer available. A new book has been added, The Secrets of Female Sexuality
If all women could be as sexual as her!
I can vouch for that. My girlfriend is someone who, before we had even kissed, confided in me that she wouldn’t care if she ever had sex again. She’s had many many partners, never orgasmed, thought that something was wrong with her etc. Something about me turned her on, and we got off to a fairly good start. Luckily I came across David Shade’s material and it took me a week to turn her into a wild, sex crazy, addicted (to me) slut constantly marveling at my skills.
If your girl is ambivalent about sex, it’s more than likely that you’re the problem.
I know I have always been curious about sex and super excited about it since I was very young, even though I was raised in a conservative christian home. Don’t get me wrong, my family sees nothing wrong with sex as long as its within the marriage bed (my mom says me and my sisters get our drives from her, lol)
When I was younger I wished it wasn’t wrong and unhealthy to have multiple partners bc I wanted sex so badly and so much. (I still want it and all that but I’ve only had one partner and that was a HUGE mistake.) Anyway. Sex is fun. It’s stimulating in so many ways, and it is a great way to bond. So men… suck it up. If your woman wants it and is asking for it give it to her, even if you don’t feel like it right away. I know you would want her to do the same on a day she doesn’t necessarily feel like it (although if she’s being taken care of I’m sure you wont have to ask twice, lol)
As David says all the time…. Be a MAN!!!!
Most are. You just have to bring it out in her.
Deedee,
You are so correct. And most likely her ambivalence is due to a series of lame lovers. She probably only had orgasms when she stimulated herself.
But when a man KNOWS how to lead a woman and open up her sexuality… she will do almost ANYTHING to make him happy, because she's having the most incredible pleasure of her life and he's responsible.
It's really easy to stand out from other guys. A little knowledge and a little confidence is all you need.
Rae,
There is no problem with being from a Christian background and having great sex in the context of a relationship. Many couples I have coached are Christians and happily married.
But one thing I do caution you on… be sure you Select Wisely before you commit to a long term relationship. This is a huge mistake many men overlook. Just because she's hot, or cute, or funny, doesn't mean she is right for you. (or you for her).
David… I’m a woman. I want a man like you teach men to be. I want incredible pleasure. I want to be desired, and I want to give him all that I can. I want to be the woman you tell men to look for.